Female sexuality has always been a fascinating topic. Yet society puts so much guilt and shame on it.
Believe it or not, but approx. 30% of women have never experienced any kind of orgasms. And about 40% of women who can have orgasms are having difficulties experiencing them all the time. Why is that?
First of all please let me make it clear: every woman on this planet is able to orgasm if they have a vagina or Yoni as it is called in Sanskrit. It is not some privilege that some chosen women are multiorgasmic and can experience 20 orgasms in a row. This is possible for most women out there.
What are the causes for women not being able to orgasm? Mainly these issues are psychological. These women have experienced some kind of emotional trauma or have grown up in a home where sex has been a topic of taboo and shame. Parents at home have injected a feeling of shame and guilt where it concerns sexuality and in the worst cases children have been physically punished when touching their genitals for example. This leaves a mark so deep into a woman and later when they are grown ups, the feelings of shame, guilt and fear of punishment will follow them throughout their life. These woman often have a very negative attitude towards sexuality and to their own body.
The other common cause for women not orgasming is that their partners can't last long enough. Most women need at least 20-30 minutes of penetration before they can have internal orgasms. An average man lasts between 4-8 minutes and that makes it very hard for a woman to orgasm. When a woman is constantly having sex without orgasming, they can become emotionally blocked and they will have a false perception that they are frigid and can not orgasm. Actually they can orgasm, they just need the to have longer intercourse. Sometimes women have experienced some type of sexual abuse or even rape.
There are women who are control freaks and can't let go emotionally and will not allow herself to have orgasms. Usually there is a deep fear of something behind that.
All of these issues are usually cured with Tantric Therapy sessions. It just depends on a person wether she will open up in 1 or 3 or 10 sessions. Most women open up with three sessions, but as said there can be women who need 20 sessions to open up. Each case is different.
Women who are able to experience only clitoris orgasms also end up in our sessions. Why? Let me explain this. Women are able to experience 7 types of different orgasms: clitoris-, lower vaginal-, inner vaginal-, g-spot- (this includes the female ejaculation), cervical-, breast-, urinary- and anal orgasm. I will write another blog to explain all these orgasms. Right now I am just writing them out to make You understand what is wrong with having only clitoris orgasms.
Just like men, women also are born with life energy called Ojas Shakti. This energy is limited and same as for men when this energy is lost it is lost. Women lose this energy in few ways: clitoris orgasms, menstruation (this is another topic and I will write about this too), child birth and leukorrhea (white discharge from the vagina). When keeping this energy inside, men and women are healthier, happier and younger among many other amazing side effects.
After a clitoris orgasm women will often feel empty and depleted. Their clitoris and nipples are gentle and they lose interest in continuing with the lovemaking. During clitoris orgasm the sexual energy (life energy) usually goes out of the body and the orgasm is short, fast and very superficial and most of the times she can have only one (some women can also internalize their clitoris orgasms). The internal orgasms on the other hand are deep, long, deeply satisfying and all the energy stays in the body. Internal orgasms will make a woman more feminine, softer, warmer and loving, when clitoris orgasms rather make women cold, emotionally distant and masculine. These women are using sex like men, to get their own satisfaction.
Now please do not understand me wrong, clitoris orgasms are not bad, they are better than nothing and a Tantric woman will learn how to internalise or sublime their clitoris orgasms. Clitoris is the only body part that is there only for pleasure, it has no other function. But that is another topic. Woman that can experience internal orgasms can have 50 orgasms in a row if she has enough vitality and she can make love for hours.
Everyday I have men coming for sessions and complaining that they want more sex and their partners don't. This already gives me a pretty good idea of what is going on with their sex life: their partners either can't have orgasms at all or are having only clitoris orgasms. These woman naturally lose interest for sex and sex becomes more of an obligation for them. When the woman's Yoni (vagina) is numb inside and she can not enjoy the lovemaking, then her only goal is that her man comes fast and she doesn't have to have sex for a long time. In Tantra it is not the race for the orgasm, but it is the journey that counts. But how can You enjoy the journey, when You feel nothing. Yoni massage helps to open up internal orgasms and women can start experiencing many different types and start to really enjoy long lovemaking.
We had a case with a couple that came for a session, they had been married for 40 years and they were 60 years of age. Their sex life had been awful for most of their life and she had not experienced any type of internal orgasm. In the first session she opened up completely: she had 4-5 different types of orgasms and she experienced female ejaculation, although her uterus had been removed, which is the center of every woman. They just came for one session. Since then they are like young lovers again, enjoying sex like never before and having long lovemaking sessions that last for hours. Incredible isn't it?
Please do not forget that life is meant to be lived fully and to enjoy every single second of it. Life is not about obligations that the society imposes upon us. There is so much more to life and sex is one of the healthiest things there is out there as long as You do it the right way and You do not waste Your life energy. It has almost no bad side effects, unless You get addicted to it.
Women who have never experienced orgasms before can open up fully in few sessions. It is not so easily achieved at home. Men usually have no idea what to do and often it is hard to open up with Your partner, because of the emotional baggage, women need to feel safe in order to open up so deeply. Lot of fear, guilt and shame is often stored in the Yoni for the woman and during the session these emotions are released. This experience can be emotionally very intense.
In our sessions we see women who are already having few different types of internal orgasms but they want to open up even more and experience one of the most amazing experiences a woman can have: female ejaculation. Again I have to emphasise here: almost all women can ejaculate. I have seen only two women who ejaculated very little. All our other clients have had this incredible experience full on, since this ability was opened up for them.
Female ejaculation is one of the mystical powers of a woman. It is related to the A- and G-spot. During the ejaculation woman has a clear, odourless, sweet tasting fluid coming out of her body. The fluid comes out of her body trough the urethra and sometimes it can be mixed with a little urine. There are very few women who have experienced ejaculation naturally, but most women can experience it. They just do not know they can do it. Through the ejaculation women can release a lot of emotional blockages and burdens that they are carrying.
Because of the way sexuality is in the world understood, many women will never experience the deep internal orgasms and have a very hard time getting in contact with their feminine energy. The sexuality is turned so upside down and women are made to be ashamed of their sexuality and their body, because men do not want women to step into their own true power through their body and their sexuality. There is nothing more powerful than a woman who is in full contact with her body and her true femininity. A woman like that will rock this world. And only a true man can appreciate a woman like that.
Have You ever given a thought why a man who is having a lot of sex is called a stud, stallion, bachelor etc and why a woman who does the same thing is called a whore or a slut? Because men know that when all women would discover what they truly have, no man can have a chance against them. Please don't get me wrong, men are amazing and I adore them, but women are born Tantrics and their power through sexuality is something beyond what words can describe.
/ Written by Jaya Shivani
Read more on her website: www.jayashivani.ee