What is the difference between regular sex and tantric lovemaking? And how do you do?
My clients often ask what makes ordinary sex into a tantric sex. What is the difference?
Many books will describe Tantric sex as a practice of meditation, where partners will sit opposite from each other and look into each other eyes and meditate. Or the man and woman join their genitals and are not moving, just staying in a meditation trying to feel the sexual energy in the body. This type of meditations can be very powerful sexual experiences, but for a person coming from the friction and genitals based sexuality, it can be very hard to feel anything. The friction based sexuality is Tantric as long as it has certain elements in it. In today’s blog I will explain You the 7 steps of Tantric love making or how to turn Your sex life more meaningful and divine.
Step 1: Consecration
To explain the true meaning of this word, I would need to give here a long lecture about Karma Yoga, but since everyone should be able to understand it, I will make it simple. When engaging in the love making act with Your partner call in the supporting energies of the Universe. In Tantra we like to consecrate to Shiva & Shakti the cosmic couple. They are the representatives of the masculine and feminine aspect of energy for Tantrics. When calling in these energies Your lovemaking will become supported and more divine. And the energy that You create between You too, can be guided somewhere or also offered to the Divine. You can guide this energy to strengthen the love between You too or heal something that needs to be healed. There are many ways of using this energy, but this is a different topic.
Step 2. Transfiguration
This is a word that comes from Christianity. It is from a story in the bible, when Jesus took his disciples on Mt Tabor and revealed his Divinity, showed his true self, his Godliness. When we look at our partners every day, we look at them through a hundred filters that we have put upon them: his is lazy, she is mean, he is selfish, she is aggressive etc. We never really take the time to stop and look beyond all that and stop to think if what we see is true or is it s reflection that we see? Transfiguration means to look with the heart. With the heart You can see what is invisible to the eyes. If anyone of You wants to get a more deeper understanding about this, watch the movie “Don Juan De Marco”, starring Johnny Depp and Marlon Brando. It gives You a perfect idea of what it means to transfigure everything. Sit with each other after You have done the consecration, look into each others eyes, pick one eye, try not to blink too much and stay like this for at least 5 minutes or more. Most people can’t look someone else in the eyes for such a long time. And we are afraid that if they look into our eyes so closely, we are naked in front of them. That is exactly the point, be open, be vulnerable. Do this as often as You can, even if You are not making love, this will bring You closer to each other and takes down the walls that we have put around us.
Step 3. Awakening the energies of the beginning
If Your relationship is fresh You might not need this one, but one day You will. Sitting facing each other, close Your eyes and go back in Your memories to those special moments where You felt the most butterflies: first kiss, first date, first lovemaking, wedding etc. You get the picture, fake it til You make it. Soon the butterflies will be there most of the time.
Step 4. The Foreplay, the Man arouses the Woman
Actually You can both arouse each other, but in bed men are like fire, ready quickly and burn quickly. Women are like water, they need a long time to heat up, but they stay hot a long time too. Make sure that she is aroused before You start the love making. Her Yoni will tell when she is ready. Take time for the foreplay, do not rush it.
Step 5. The Lovemaking act itself
Take time for this too. It should be at least 30 minutes. The important thing here is that men will not ejaculate and will keep the energy in and women shouldn’t have external orgasms: clitoris and lower vaginal. In my previous blogs You’ll find information about each type. Even when You finish, You finish full of energy and true satisfaction, not the shallow superficial feeling that common sex gives. You need to learn a bit more about Tantra to master this, but I hope You get the idea. So when to finish, if there is no finish:)? You’ll feel it, I can assure You.
Step 6. Post Lude
Cuddling in normal language. Cuddle for at least 10 minutes, that is the place where the realm magic can happen. Man can hold the woman from behind and then You can synchronise Your breathing. And stay there and try not to fall asleep, because there is step 7 too:).
Step 7. Sublimation
Without going again into long explanations, this means moving the energy. You have created a lot of energy during lovemaking and most of it usually stays in the 2nd chakra. Either do a meditation after love making or do a shoulder stand, as long as You can. If You practice Yoga, then also headstand and plow pose will do it. Stay in them as long as You can. Anything that takes energy into Your higher chakras. This should be done latest 30 min after You finish lovemaking.
These are the steps explained shortly, but this is not all, there is still a lot more about Tantric sex that You need to understand to do this all correctly. Find Yourself a teacher, someone who can guide You. But if You are already on the path, this might be some help to You.
/ Written by Jaya Shivani
Read more on her website: www.jayashivani.ee